How to Be There for a Friend in Tough Times

Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows; sometimes, it throws curveballs that knock us right off our feet. When a friend is going through tough times, it can be hard to know how to help. You want to say the right things and do the right things, but where do you start?

Just Being There

First and foremost, your presence matters more than you might think. Sometimes, words aren’t necessary. Just showing up, whether physically or virtually, can provide immense comfort. A survey by the Mental Health Foundation found that 49% of UK adults said they felt most supported during tough times when friends and family were simply present.

What to Say

When it comes to talking to your friend, it’s natural to feel a little tongue-tied. Here are some phrases to start you off if you're particularly stuck:

- “I’m here for you.” These four words can be incredibly reassuring. They let your friend know they’re not alone.

- “I can’t imagine how you’re feeling, but I’m here to listen.” This acknowledges their pain without pretending to fully understand it, which can be more comforting than you might realise.

- “It’s okay to not be okay.” This reminds them that it’s perfectly normal to struggle and that they don’t have to put on a brave face all the time.

- “Do you want to talk about it?” Offering a chance to talk shows your willingness to listen but leaves the choice up to them.

What to Do

Actions often speak louder than words. Here are some simple, yet impactful, ideas to show your support:

1. Check In Regularly: A quick text or call to ask how they’re doing can go a long way. It shows you care and are thinking about them.

2. Offer Practical Help: Whether it’s cooking a meal, helping with chores, or running errands, practical support can alleviate some of their stress.

3. Spend Time Together: Sometimes, a distraction is the best medicine. Invite them for a walk, watch a movie together, or engage in a hobby they enjoy.

4. Be Patient: Healing takes time. Your friend may not bounce back as quickly as you’d hope, and that’s okay. Continue to be patient and understanding.

Listening: The Heart of Support

Listening is a powerful tool. A study by Mind, a UK mental health charity, found that 63% of people felt better when someone simply listened to them without judgment. When your friend opens up, focus on truly listening:

- Make Eye Contact: This shows that you’re fully engaged.

- Avoid Interrupting: Let them express their thoughts and feelings without cutting in.

- Show Empathy: Nodding and using gentle, affirming phrases like “I understand” can make them feel heard.

Every Little Thing Counts

Remember, you don’t have to be perfect. The fact that you care and are making an effort means a lot. Every little thing you do, from a kind word to a small gesture, helps your friend feel seen and supported. Tough times don’t last, but your friendship can make all the difference in helping them through it.

Being there for someone is one of the most meaningful things you can do. So go ahead, reach out, and let your friend know they’re not alone. You’ve got this, and so do they.

Dedicated to RAO - Who was there.